captainarnerica:

verily-thor:

christineismychapel:

poehlerfey:

YOU SPOIL THOR AND I WILL FIND YOU AND END YOU

Too late. I already bought him a new video game and a pony. His bed time is never.

image

omfg

(via marauder-ess)

kaptainferret:

queergh0st:

sarahseemssilly:

theycallmethemoose:

everkings:

gildatheplant:

pragtastic:

fifty-shades-of-gandalf-the-grey:

leomoriat:

poesdaughter:

Or, y’know, that thing called “Passover.”

Or the whole thing with Noah’s Ark where he killed off everything in the world except Noah and his family, and two of every animal. Y’know, no big deal. Just millions of people.

90% of the Old Testament is about God killing people in temper tantrums

Are we not going to mention Jesus?

Nailed it.

*wheeze* 

Oh my god.

Nailed it.

and like, outside the bible, in the real world, where born kids die and are even ACTUALLY murdered every day

"do you read the bible or just pretend it says whatever you like?"

is one of the best arguments

(Source: atheismblog, via marauder-ess)

Timestamp: 1406214129

kaptainferret:

queergh0st:

sarahseemssilly:

theycallmethemoose:

everkings:

gildatheplant:

pragtastic:

fifty-shades-of-gandalf-the-grey:

leomoriat:

poesdaughter:

Or, y’know, that thing called “Passover.”

Or the whole thing with Noah’s Ark where he killed off everything in the world except Noah and his family, and two of every animal. Y’know, no big deal. Just millions of people.

90% of the Old Testament is about God killing people in temper tantrums

Are we not going to mention Jesus?

Nailed it.

*wheeze* 

Oh my god.

Nailed it.

and like, outside the bible, in the real world, where born kids die and are even ACTUALLY murdered every day

"do you read the bible or just pretend it says whatever you like?"

is one of the best arguments

(Source: atheismblog, via marauder-ess)

greeklesbian:

when my parents complain about me image

(via marauder-ess)

unfollowlng:

seenaill:

unfollowlng:

If you think your mom overreacts just remember once my mom cancelled our trip to New York because I refused to eat the meatloaf she made

my mom accused me of selling my birth certificate and social security to the black market when she couldn’t find them

you win

(via marauder-ess)

broughttoyoubytheletterq:

when im a parent i won’t take my kid’s electronics when they get in trouble i’ll just take the charger so i can watch the fear in their eyes as they use it less and less while the battery slowly begins to run out

(via marauder-ess)

You’re my best friend, bud.

(Source: hiccupthechief, via marauder-ess)

Timestamp: 1406214044

You’re my best friend, bud.

(Source: hiccupthechief, via marauder-ess)

im-just-bad-at-metaphors:

magicalkingdomofdisney:

itsthefangirlwholived:

brookeeverdeen:

when you get your period at school

image

Conceal don’t feel don’t let them know

Make one wrong move and then the blood will show

Let it flow, let it flow, can’t hold it back anymore

(Source: brookeeverdeen, via marauder-ess)

lucifcr:

reminder that in the french version of supernatural bobby says bananas instead of idjits

(via marauder-ess)

maclonna:

carlosthatsmyname:

How to lose your job in 2 seconds.

i love this so much because you can tell the exact moment when she realized “holy shit that’s madonna”

(via nerds-geeks-fangirls)

Timestamp: 1406213924

maclonna:

carlosthatsmyname:

How to lose your job in 2 seconds.

i love this so much because you can tell the exact moment when she realized “holy shit that’s madonna”

(via nerds-geeks-fangirls)

sextronautt:

panic! at the deadline

(via strider-gonnastride)

high-school-fling:

spicy-vagina-tacos:

freezerburnt-capsicle:

dontbeanassbutt:

boy, blowjobs sure are a mouthful

jeez, that pun was hard for me to swallow

penis

thanks for your contribution

(via pizza-on-mars)