trying to get your friends to watch a show you like
Six complaints to the BBC about last Saturday’s same-sex kiss on Doctor Who.
Over eight hundred complaints about the Great British Bake Off’s baked Alaska scandal.
I love this country.
i dont think goosebumps books ever came into print i think they just mystically appeared in public school libraries one day already in mediocre condition
talents include looking 12 and saying thank you to the bus driver
Harry Potter au where Harry didn’t lose being a parsletongue and Albus buys a snake as a pet one year because snakes are cool and one day just walks in on Harry and the snake having a deep conversation
Albus is 17 and loses his virginity in his room and forgets the snake talks to his dad and when Harry gets home the snake is all like OH MY GOSH YOU’D NEVER GUESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS WHAT HAPPENED
i just ordered dominos and they gave me this
so i was like what the fuck and complained (literally how do u even eat this? tell me.) and they gave me another pizza and i was so excited to see how like perfectly constructed this next pizza was gonna be because wouldn’t you assume they would care more in order to Satisfy the Customer. well
i am suing dominos and i hate america
one time when i was like 12 my dad wanted me to put a dvd in the dvd player and i was like ‘what do i get in return’ and he said ‘you can have half of the winnings of this stupid lotto ticket’ and he ended up winning 600,000 dollars and i was so pleased with myself. 300,000 dollars when youre 12 is pretty much like infinity dollars. he was so mad
Shit, man, $300,000 would be like infinity dollars to me now.
when i see a cute couple my first thought is always if they have had sex yet